MFW11 NATIONAL COMPETITION AWARD 2025 – SPECIAL MENTION

MY THERAPIST SAID, I AM FULL OF SADNESS

[d] Monica Vanesa Tedja
Indonesia / 2024 / Documentary / 22:25

A filmmaker finds the source of their sadness by combing through archival material of their biological and queer chosen families.
[ig] @monictedja

The film explores the generational divide between parent and child, and an unchallenged prejudice, never spoken out loud, but constantly present. The filmmaker bares their soul, both dreading and praying for the confrontation that will never come. Instead, they travel halfway round the world just to live truthfully. With glacial framing delicately counterbalanced by warmth and humour, the measured direction leaves us in no doubt that self-imposed exile from family may be necessary, but it does not lead to happiness.

Ladya Cheryl, Shoko Takegasa, Matt Lloyd

National Jury Board 2025

DIRECTOR’S BIOGRAPHY

Born in Jakarta in 1991, Monica Vanesa Tedja (they) is a Chinese-Indonesian filmmaker based in between Berlin and Jakarta, whose films pose questions around minority identity issues through intimate character work, while also exploring the tensions of black and white morality: ranging from religion and sexuality to the non-binary identity. Drawn into details and the interconnectedness of things, Monica tends to work with personal stories, in which the realm of memories, fantasy, and reality are blurred together. Their latest short film, DEAR TO ME, has won the best short film at FIRST STEPS AWARDS 2021 and received Special Mention from the Youth Jury at Open Doors Screenings at Locarno Film Festival 2021. Monica is concurrently developing her debut feature film, DEAR FAMILY.

DIRECTOR’S FILMOGRAPHY

How to Make a Perfect Xmas Eve (11’) – 2012
Writer/Director

Screened in JAFF (Jogja Netpac Asian Film Festival) 2012
Nominated as Best Short Film in Europe on Screen 2013
Best Film picked by Indonesian Film Directors Club in XXI Short Film Competition 2013

Sleep Tight, Maria (15’) – 2015

Project Change! 2014 – Kalyana Shira Foundation & Ford Foundation

Writer/Director

Screened in Los Angeles Indonesian Film Festival 2015
Best Short Film in France Film Festival 2016 in Jakarta

The Flower and the Bee (9’) – 2015

Co-Writer/Director

Nominated in XXI Short Film Festival 2016

Dear to Me (19’) – 2021

Master Final Project / Debut Feature Film

in collaboration with Filmuniversität Babelsberg Konrad Wolf

Writer / Director

Best Short and Animated Short Film at FIRST STEPS AWARDS 2021
Nominated for Michael-Ballhaus-Prize (Cinematography) at FIRST STEPS AWARDS 2021
Open Doors Screenings at 74th Locarno Film Festival (Special Mention from the Youth Jury “Cinema & Gioventù”)
Official Selection at Minikino Film Week / Bali International Short Film Festival 2021
Official Selection at Fringe! Queer Film & Art Fest 2021
Official Selection at 100% Manusia Film Festival 2021, Indonesia
Official Selection at QCinema International Film Festival 2021, The Phillipines
In Competition for Blencong Award at Jogja-NETPAC Asian Film Festival (JAFF) 2021

My Therapist Said, I Am Full of Sadness (22’) – 2024

Writer/Director

Best Short Documentary at Festival Film Indonesia 2024
In Competition at DOK Leipzig 2024
In Competition at SGIFF 2024
In Competition at HKIFF 2025
Official Selection at JAFF 2024
Official Selection at HotDocs 2025
Special Mention at Minikino Film Week / Bali International Short Film Festival 2025